Naked & Afraid

The naked truth. Have you ever watched the show, “Naked & Afraid?” It almost paralyzes me to think about the notion.  A) I am afraid of all reptiles, like phobic about them, and equally not a fan of most anything with fangs, teeth, or the ability to consume me for supper.  B) You are facing these aforementioned wild elements- naked, with a stranger. Naked. Like no forgiving self-tanner generously applied, no concealer, no smoke and mirrors. It’s all just there in its natural, dimply, pastey white glory for all to see. Or all for the stranger to see. The viewing audience at home has to use a smidge of imagination to “guess” what’s beneath the blurry area that some say is where the good Lord split ya, for instance.  All of this terrifies me far beyond the 28 days you are there without food or water supply.  More than scared, I think I would mostly  feel sympathetic. Sympathetic for the person who “drew the short straw” stranger that got me as their partner the next month.  For my lack of any type of survival skills, or desire to forage/hunt/kill anything. Mainly though,  my sympathy is for the person that will undoubtedly bring themselves to commit murder. And I will be the cause.  They would kill me to stop my whining. I’m positive of this.  Ever been with me when I am (multiple answers are applicable) Hungry? Tired? Scared? Experiencing nature? Hot? Headachey? PMS? Overwhelmed? Stressed out? On a High ledge? Sunburned? Eaten alive by mosquitoes?  In all seriousness….I am dead serious. I am confident, I would meet my demise for my excessive whine and thick, yet tender, thighs.  C’mon, I’d totally expect you to then take nourishment from me – it’s the least I could offer.

I say all this because – it’s true, Hell on Earth to me would be the above scenario, Ok. Not Hell, but throw in some Algebraic word problems to the above situation and that, THAT would be my hell on Earth. Without a doubt.

I share this because I realized some time ago that I have someone in my life, that would only want to be in the Hell On Earth scenario described above if it was WITH me. And that my friends - is a miracle. Truly, miraculous. There is someone who gets me at my best, my “Meh”, my most giving, my most beautiful, my ugliest, my most selfish and a host of additional states and still says, I choose you. And to clarify, yes, to my Christian friends, Jesus- Jesus does this for us and loves us in this way & how amazingly humbling is it. But I’m talking about a person, in the flesh.  A fellow beautiful and flawed spirit, that knows all this, and would choose me anyway, despite of it, BECAUSE of it.  I am often mystified as to why/how? 

The truth is, moving in with Matt & the girls has been more of a REALITY check than I bet either Matt or I envisioned. In one instance it is bliss, BLISS I say!  As our kiddos giggle, laugh, play and we all engage and build our family memories; in the next, there is conflict, or frustration surrounding 5 people who know and love one another suddenly LIVING under one roof and try to make sense of expectations, or rules, or assumptions.  We anticipated much of it, but something’s have taken us by surprise and I’ll be the first to say, a demanding job, parenting, 2 homes, and trying to truly LIVE life often times has me at far short of the best version of “me.”  Lest I mention, 2 approaching Tweendom kiddos, one perimenopausal broad, a cat that likes to piddle outside the litterbox on occasion, a too small garage for all the crap in it, and a guy that likes to sing show tunes incessantly. ;) 

But, through it all, being “naked” (talking metaphorically, get your mind out of the gutter, people. The real-deal me, the good the bad, the ugly)  and most definitely “afraid” (did we give the kids enough time, too much time, 2^nd marriages have an even higher divorce rate than first, etc..) and yet, he chooses me, over and over and over again to go on this adventure. And although at times, I may feel like I’m “going” kicking & screaming, because I AM “naked” and I AM “afraid,” there isn’t another person on this Earth that  I’d want to be on this adventure with either.  Not a one. Nope.

In under 10 months, we’ll be married; dealing with who knows what new stuff, and very likely much of what we are already facing. 

In the show, ‘Naked & Afraid’, you get to bring one “survival tool” with you on your journey.  As 2015 looms, I think I know what mine needs to be for our journey.  If you’ve read along, thanks for your interest. I’d ask that you pray for me & that I always remember what my “survival tool” is & pray for us and our family as we take on this new adventure. No doubt we are in for quite a story!

Here’s to an EPIC/BLESSED/FANTASTCIAL/MEANINGFUL 2015!