i had commented recently at small group about how one knows if God is speaking to them. Resoundingly I was met with, "is there time in your day were you are still enough to even hear him when he "speaks". Uh, yeah, No. It was much easier when H was small and my days will spent caring for him and the big task was bathing him, myself, and at some point int he 9 hour time M was at work----make a dinner plan. It seemed to allow much more time for Silence. H didn't talk and believe it or not, I find I am fairly quite at home. So, a walk down the street a swing on the front porch, got my mind reeling with possibilities, thankfulness and silent opportunitites.
I have to figure out how to slow down. I am still hopeful that I can swing lesser hours at work very soon. And when that happens, I will need to fight the urge to fill that newly "found" time from being booked. I will need to refrain from inserting the event or that volunteering---as life is cruising me by. H is growing up so fast-I am rarely found sitting reading a book, let alone, opening myself up to "hear" God's word. I just want a big ole, road side billboard, 'hey Cindi, .......Love, God" Of course hear int he bible belt of MO. there are several well=placed billboards that read, "Don't make me come down there ---God" which always makes me smile....but they are not on my daily route---how do i put a place for God, when I barely give time to hear myself think? Like many things in my life now. I need to become proactive. Most would describe as such when it comes to my job and my kid. But Me? I tend to feel like I am just along for the ride. In the stillness of today I can hear him asking for me to turn down the volume, clear some time of my calendar and "let's talk" Now, the question is, will I be ready to listen????
